Party Eats

Cookie Monster and I recently hosted a party. This was the first time I'd cooked for several of my friends, so I wanted to impress. I also wanted to use the flavors of the season.

Here's what I made:

Hazelnut brown sugar cookies

(recipe from my Better Homes & Gardens cookbook)

Cranberry sauce over cream cheese, served with crackers

Bacon-wrapped dates

Homemade pumpkin bread

Caramelized onion and blue cheese flatbread (L) and pumpkin ricotta phyllo turnovers (R)

Ginger molasses cookies

(Both cookies were served in my Snowman cookie jar, 

which plays "Jingle Bells" when you lift his head off)

And, the pièce de résistance, Cookie Monster's famous eggnog.

Also, I mulled hot cider in my Crock pot and served that, too.

So, things turned out pretty much awesome. There was very little food left at the end of the party. Yay!

Here are the "recipes" of some of the dishes. I made these all up, so there are no exact measurements.

Bacon-Wrapped Dates

Be sure to make a lot of these babies. They go fast!

I feel silly even typing a recipe for these. It's just combining two delicious things and making them into one uber-delicious thing. Simply cut strips of bacon into thirds, wrap each slice around a dried date, and bake at 350 until the bacon is crisp. They are salty, sweet and amazing. Highly recommended.

Caramelized Onion and Blue Cheese Flatbread

Butter

Yellow onions 

S&P

Blue cheese (I used  a tub of blue cheese from Trader Joe's)

Flatbread (also from Trader Joe's)

Heat a large skillet to medium-high heat. Melt few tablespoons of butter and add onions, salt and pepper. When they begin to turn brown, reduce the heat to very low. Continue to stir until they break down and turn very brown and caramely. This usually takes a while--about 30-40 minutes.

Brush flatbread lightly with olive oil. Spread a thin layer of caramelized onions over bread, then sprinkle with chunks of blue cheese. Bake at 350 until cheese is melted and edges of bread are crisp, about 10-15 minutes.

Pumpkin Ricotta Phyllo Turnovers

Sheets of phyllo dough

Canned pure pumpkin

Part-skim ricotta cheese

Grated Asiago cheese

Freshly grated nutmeg

Hot sauce

S&P

Prepare filling: Stir together pumpkin, cheeses and spices.

Prepare phyllo: Take one piece of dough and brush lightly with olive oil. (Be sure to cover unused phyllo with a damp kitchen towel; this will prevent it from drying out.) Add another layer and brush with oil. Repeat until there are four layers of phyllo. Place layers of dough lengthwise on a cutting board like a flag. Cut horizontally into four even strips. Working with one strip at a time, spoon ricotta mixture onto bottom and fold up corner to form a triangle shape. Continue folding until you have one large triangle, and tuck the last end under the bottom. Continue with remaining strips. Cut three air slits into top of each triangle, and brush tops with olive oil. Bake until golden brown in a 350 oven, about 25-30 minutes.

Farmers' Market Fresh: In My Glass

One of my favorite cocktails as of late is the Strawberry Royale from one of my favorite Happy Hours as of late. Blue Hill is within walking distance of our house, and they have a lovely outdoor patio with great specials, so what's not to love? 

I wanted to recreate this drink at home, so when Cookie Monster and I picked up a pint of fresh strawberries at the farmers' market, I did. 

I muddled 3-4 strawberries with one shot of vodka, then dumped into a champagne glass. Then I simply filled the rest with sparkling wine. Voila! It was a pretty good replication, especially with the fresh berries.

A lovely happy hour cocktail, or something delicious for Sunday brunch.

Irish I Were Drinking Coffee!

A certain Irish holiday just passed, and just before said holiday, it was a bit cold here. So, with the inspiration of the Irish, Cookie Monster and I made some delicious coffee. With a hint o' the Emerald Isle. 

Enter the cast of characters: 

*French press Stumptown coffee (some of the very best you can get)

*Irish cream

*Jameson Irish whiskey

*Whipped cream

Pour the whiskey. Notice the measuring device? Actually purchased in Ireland!

Then the coffee. Pay homage to your home state in drinking vessel (optional).

Next, the Irish cream. 

Concede the camera to your husband, who will randomly take pictures of your butt.

Admonish husband for taking said butt photos and resume camera duties. Yes, there are more. No, they will not be published.

Top Irish coffee with whipped cream.

Admonish husband again for sucking down copious amounts of whipped cream directly from can into mouth. Laugh at his slight propellant high from said sucking down of whipped cream.

Delight in a delicious, warming beverage. Slainte!

The Best Snowcones, Ever

When Cookie Monster and I were living in Portland and it was snowy one day, I had a stroke of genius. 

That stroke of genius: alcoholic snow cones! Scoop snow, cover with booze, consume, enjoy. I think at that time we made Chambord and Kahlua snow cones. 

Since it recently snowed (and we're waiting for more!), we replicated adult beverages out of snow, but we had a pretty well-stocked liquor cabinet and wanted to sample a lot, so we just filled shot glasses instead of coffee mugs. Enter: the best snowcones ever!

We had Irish creme, Kahlua, butterscotch schnapps, cherry heering, root beer schnapps, Frangelico  and a nip of Chambord.

Just like your snowcones of yore, but with an adult twist. My favorites were the Frangelico and root beer.

Try one today! (Or next time it snows, whichever comes first.)

Incidentally, this is also a good use for snow:

Cranberry Sauce (juiced!)

Cookie Monster and I did not host Thanksgiving dinner this year; we were guests at his boss' house. So, in order to ensure our favorites were around after the Big Day, we made some of them just for us. Cookie Monster's favorite is a turkey, cranberry, stuffing, cream cheese sandwich (and I happen to like them, too), so we cooked up all of those things. Yes, for the two of us, we cooked a 14 lb. turkey. It was the smallest I could find! So, after two Tupperwares of that turkey, plus some leftover his boss sent with us, we are pretty damn tired of turkey right now. (Nevermind the two more Tupperwares full in the freezer!)
Anyhoo, I'm getting off track. The cranberry sauce. It's tasty. It's tart. It's a bit sweet. And, in our case, it's juiced. With liquor, that is.

Obviously, it started with these:

And then I stripped an orange naked.

And Cookie Monster did this to said naked orange.

...until there was a half cup of orange juice.
Then came the good stuff!

A little for the cook...
(Glass from Portugal. Appropriate, no?)

And then some sugar.

Boil everything together 'til the cranberries burst and it reduces into a lovely, thick sauce.

Makes the best sandwiches! Also great in oatmeal, too.

Orange Port Cranberry Sauce

1 bag fresh cranberries
Zest of 1 orange
1/2 cup orange juice
1/2 cup port wine
3/4 cup sugar

Combine all ingredients into a saucepan and bring to boil. Reduce heat and simmer until all cranberries are broken down and mixture becomes gelled.

Caramel AppleTini

Cookie Monster had a frustrating day at work yesterday, so I made him a cocktail when he got home. It's particularly fall-ish and, unlike most of my previous bartending endeavors, it didn't suck! It was really tasty, actually. Here is the "recipe." Make one tonight and celebrate the crisp weather and impending rainy days.

Caramel AppleTini

1.5 shots vodka

.5 shot Buttershots (butterscotch liqueur)

2 shots spiced apple cider

Combine all ingredients into a cocktail shaker with ice. Shake ya' booty for awhile, then strain into pretty martini glass (while being grateful said extremely fragile glass did not break in its 3,000 mile trek across the country in a large metal box). Garnish with an apple slice.

Ta-da!

Laurelwood Organic Portland Roast Espresso Stout

Cookie Monster and I shared a delicious beer from a local brewery tonight. Here are Cookie Monster's well thought-out notes and tasting nuances:

Laurelwood is one of the many, many local breweries that we frequent, and we've always enjoyed the happy hour and its $3 pints. This particular beer blends organic beer with organic coffee from a local coffee roaster.



You won't find many beers with a richer, darker color: it looks like espresso. It's intensely fragrant, with heavy coffee aromas and malty sweetness. When I opened the bottle, our kitchen filled with these pleasant smells. It pours thick, with a head reminiscent of the edges of a dry cappuccino, appropriately enough, where the milk foam absorbs the rich brown of the espresso below.

What surprised me upon tasting was how dry it actually tasted; the sweetness of the malts was diminutive compared to the acidic espresso flavor, creating a beer that smelled considerably sweeter than it tasted. The espresso is bold and the beer has a smooth mouthfeel, if a bit astringent, with a modest chocolate flavor hiding behind the roast coffee.

The Espresso Stout sports a solid 6.3% ABV. I enjoyed this beer, though I might have appreciated just a touch of additional sweetness to bring out more of the complexity of the espresso. Others have rated it well...I'd give it a 8/10.

And here is my take (this is pretty par for the course for us):
Mmmmmmm.
*burp*
Mmmmmmm.

Cinco de Mayo

I made a lovely, delectable feast for Cinco de Mayo. 'Cuz, you know, we white people take any excuse to celebrate a holiday involving foreign cuisine and traditions. Ole!
It included taco salads: sauteed vegetables and pinto beans over romaine lettuce, topped with salsa, avocado and sour cream for me. With a tortilla on the side, it was really delicious. Unfortunately, I have two pictures of the cuisine prepared that night. The first may explain to you why this occurred:

After *cough, cough, ahem* three of these, the only picture I remembered to take was the flan after coming out of the oven--here it is cooling before I inverted it.
This was my first venture at making homemade flan, and I gotta say, it turned out awesome. The recipe was really simple; it was mostly inactive time.

This flan kicked burro. I certainly did not eat almost half of this container. Nope. That is not something I would do after three margaritas.
*burp*

Here is the recipe, in case anyone's still reading. I don't even think my mom reads anymore. But just in case, Hi Mom!

Caramel Flan
Recipe courtesy of Eagle Brand
3/4 cup sugar
4 eggs
1 3/4 cups water
1 14 oz. can Eagle Brand sweetened condensed milk (not evaporated milk)
1/2 teaspoon vanilla extract (mine actually came from Mexico!)
1/8 teaspoon salt

Preheat oven to 350°. In heavy skillet over medium-low heat, cook sugar, stirring constantly until melted and caramel colored. Pour into 9-inch round dish or baking pan, tilting to coat bottom thoroughly (you want to do this quickly, as the sugar starts to harden right away).
In a medium bowl, beat eggs; stir in water, condensed milk, vanilla and salt. Pour over caramelized sugar. Set dish in larger cooking vessel and fill larger pan with 1 inch of water. (This is what's known as a water bath. I know you're thrilled by this knowledge. We here at ChezVCK are here to inform.)
Bake 55 to 60 minutes or until center is just set (mixture will still jiggle). (I found this took more like 70 minutes.) Move smaller dish to wire rack, cool for one hour. (You better believe I stuck this in the freezer to cool so I could eat it sooner.)
To unmold, run a knife around edge and invert onto serving platter. Proclaim Ole!

Shaken, Not Stirred

But James would not approve: it's gin, not vodka.

Slainte! Happy St. Patty's Day!

A certain festive holiday was recently celebrated by many. This holiday is mainly an excuse for anyone of the Caucasian persuasion to adopt a foreign heritage, drink a bunch of beer and then vomitously pass out. I think I have some Irish in me somewhere (my surname is actually really common in present-day Ireland) but count myself among the people who find it really annoying when people say "Oh sure! I'm [insert nationality with which one may be loosely associated]" when it's convenient. So, really, I'm an American mutt with distant ties to the land o' green, along with several other countries in the vicinity whose descendants have no need whatsoever for any melanin in their skin. Seriously, I am freakin' white.

But that sure doesn't mean I don't like to join in the Americanized bastardization of said holiday. So bring on the beer! This is Guinness (what else?) but in a Carlsberg glass that is actually from Ireland.

Seriously. I stole it from a pub in Galway. Sadly, my beloved Bulmer's, one of the Best Drinking Substances in the History of the World, is not sold in the state of Oregon, so I had to do without. Woe is me.

Here is my special St. Patrick's Day shirt that I made myself about six years ago. Awww... ... So... sweet?
Into my Crock pot went about 2.5 pounds of Corned Beef, along with the corning liquid and about half a Guinness, and 9 hours later, here is what it looked like.

And, because I am apparently in fifth grade, I had some fun with me onions and me parsnip. It was a very large parsnip. Tee hee!

Here it is, along with some cabbage and celeriac.

For dessert following my Irish feast, I opted for Guinness gingerbread cupcakes.

They really had Guinness in them! Cupcake recipe at the end of the post.

Here they are, ready to get baked! Ha! Stoner cupcakes!
And here they are fully cooked, but still naked. Not unlike many St. Patrick's Day revelers.

Wanting to take in the full cheesiness of the holiday, I dyed some beer green.

And then I drank it. And it was good.

Fully clothed cupcakes!

They are frosted with Irish cream cream cheese frosting. And a green mini M&M for good measure.

Also, I baked some authentic Irish soda bread.

Like this website will tell you, real Irish soda bread does not contain nuts, seeds, raisins, candies, sugar or any other shit. It has four ingredients: flour, baking soda, buttermilk, salt. The end. It is ridiculously easy to make and is hella good with just butter. Or some Irish cheddar. Or butter and Irish cheddar.

I roasted the root vegetables in the oven, then stir-fried the cabbage and onions together.

See my corned beef? I could've cut it with a spoon. That's why Crock pots are lovely inventions. It's really hard to fuck something up in the Crock pot.

Cookie Monster attempted to make gravy from the corning liquid by boiling it and adding flour directly to it. This resulted in some lovely floaters on top of the liquid that looked and tasted gross. But since they were whole, they could easily be fished out, and we settled for a more viscous "gravy."

All together! (Oh yeah, I mashed some potatoes too). Soda bread, mashed potatoes, root vegetables, corned beef!


Slainte! (That's "cheers" in Gaelic. It is pronounced slon-chuh. Don't ask me why.)

As promised, here is the recipe for the Guinness gingerbread. If you're still reading, you get a gold star! I got this from ye old Internets, and I have no fucking clue from where. So if you own this recipe, you can have the credit.

2/3 cup (160 ml) Guinness Stout

2 cups (240 g) unbleached all-purpose flour

2 tablespoons unsweetened Dutch-process cocoa powder

1-1/4 teaspoons baking soda

2-1/4 teaspoons ground ginger

1/4 teaspoon ground white pepper (I didn't have any of this and just left it out)

1 teaspoon ground cinnamon

2 large eggs

1/2 cup (88 g) granulated sugar

1/3 cup (37 g) firmly packed dark brown sugar

2/3 cup (160 ml) molasses

3/4 cup (180 ml) canola oil (I used applesauce instead)

Place rack in center of the oven and preheat to 350° F. In the microwave, warm the Guinness Stout in the glass measuring cup, or you can warm it on the stove in a small sauce pan. Bring just to a simmer then remove from heat. (This seems like a really pointless step. I would leave it out next time.) In the medium mixing bowl, whisk together the flour, cocoa powder, baking soda, ginger, white pepper, and cinnamon. In the large mixing bowl, whisk together the eggs, granulated sugar, brown sugar, and molasses until smooth. Add the canola oil and whisk until thoroughly combined. Add the dry ingredients alternating with the beer (dry, beer, dry, beer, dry). Whisk as you add, then mix at the end just until combined. (Phhhhtttttt. This is too fussy. I just dumped dry into wet.) Do not overmix. Pour the batter into the prepared pan. Bake for 50 to 60 minutes, until a toothpick comes out clean. Place cake pan on a wire rack to cool. (I made cupcakes, and they baked for about 25 minutes or so).

Irish Cream Cream Cheese Frosting a la VCK
I softened a block of cream cheese overnight on the counter, then simply added powdered sugar and Irish cream to taste, until it was sweet enough to frost cupcakes (but not too sweet). I would say I used probably 1.5-2 cups of powdered sugar and maybe 3/4 cup Irish cream? I used this kind of Irish cream. Cookie Monster bought it because of the whimsical name. Fucking adorable, right?